John SH 00:00am
by curiousgirl2013
Summary: Random and short text conversations between John and Sherlock. Nothing serious, just for fun.
1. Tea

1. Tea

Where are you? SH 09:15pm

Dating. I thought I told you. 09:26pm

Unimportant, deleted. Sally? Or Mariah? SH 09:27pm

It's Shelby Sherlock, why do you bother anyway. 09:36pm

John, I need you. SH 09:38pm

I'm in the middle of a DATE. 09:40pm

Please? SH 09:41pm

It's already the fifth time you texted me since I left home and I'm not leaving just because you need tea. 09:45pm

No, it's not tea I want. SH 09:46pm

... 09:55pm

John. SH 09:56pm

Alright, coming back. It's better to be a case, Shelby just slapped me for leaving. 10:01pm

We're out of milk. SH 10:02pm

* * *

Just some random short text conversations between Sherlock and John, hope you like it :)


	2. April Fool's Day

2. April Fool's Day

Sherlock, I think I'm gay 02:38pm

Judging by the phone call you've received from Clara 14 minutes ago, and the look on your face which says 'I just met a hottie', the possibility of you being gay is close to zero. SH 02:40pm

Come'on I'm serious, I think I like Lestrade. 02:45pm

35 minutes ago you attempted to mix soy sauce with my tea, 56 minutes ago you phoned me pretending to be a client who had lost his pet named Greenring (Oh and should I praise you for being SO creative using a name similar to Bluebell?), 1 hour and 20 minutes ago you swapped my toothpaste with wasabi and 1 hour and 35 minutes ago you played a screaming woman video in my room. Do you really think I would believe you? SH 02:48pm

... 02:49pm

I know what that's all about and check your email right now because I've just sent an email to Clara saying that you hate her, using your email account. Happy April Fool's Day, John. SH 02:50pm

* * *

Happy April Fool's Day:) Please leave a short review if it's not so much trouble :)


	3. Charger

3. Charger

John, the laptop's out of battery. SH 03:56pm

So? Go get the charger, it's on the table in the kitchen. 4:01pm

Thinking. SH 4:02PM

... go and charge it on your own 4:05pm

I am thinking, walking wastes my energy. SH 4:06pm

For God sake Sherlock I'm at work 4:10pm

John. SH 4:11pm

John? SH 4:15pm

John! SH 4:20pm

* * *

John finally learns to ignore Sherlock, yeepee great news!


	4. Anderson

4. Anderson

So, how's the case? 11:12am

Was, John,was. Solved. SH 11:13am

Alright alright. WAS it fun? 11:15am

Boring. As soon as I entered the crime scene and saw the victim's wife. I knew something was wrong abour her. There were tears on her face but her eyes were not wet and she didn't look really sad at all. It turned out she's actually our murderer. SH 11:17am

Then why did Lestrade phone you for such a simple case? 11:20am

Since people from Scotland Yard are Anderson. SH 11:21am

What? Anderson? 11:23am

Yes, Anderson's so Anderson. SH 11:24am

...since when did 'Anderson' stand for 'stupid'. 11:26am

* * *

Andersonandersonandersonanderson, poor little Anderson, an agent of stupidity.


	5. Code

5. Code

inamootcgminkbacdforeinnr 03:56pm

Drunk? SH 03:57pm

inamrotdjunkpustilaygngawameyithioureddls 04:02pm

John, grouping four letters in a set and moving the last letter to the first is nothing close to a riddle. SH 04:03pm

...iahtyeou 04:10pm

Grouping three letters in a set and moving the last letter to the second is not, either. Plus did you just spend more than five minutes to make that up? I cracked it in less than five seconds, John, I am disappointed. SH 04:11pm

protoplanetrynebula 04:13pm

That's not even a word. A code without a regular decoding method is not a code. SH 04:14pm

That's not a code, its an astronomical term. 04:15pm

...Piss off. SH 04:16pm

* * *

LOL Sherlock's lack of astronomical knowledge.


	6. The Queue

6. The Queue

John, milk. SH 01:25pm

I know! I'm at the supermarket, queueing at the cashier. 01:27pm

Be quick! I need tea. SH 01:28pm

Gosh can't you just wait for a while? I'll be back very soon. 01:30pm

You've been out for 46 minutes and 35 seconds. Normally you'd spend 9 minutes and 10 seconds travelling to the supermarket and another 3 minutes and 5 seconds to choose the discounted one before spending 5 to 7 minutes at the queue, then it takes you around 10 minutes and 50 seconds to come back to 221B, which means it only takes you 30 minutes at most to get a carton of milk, John. SH 01:32pm

... Sherlock, it's just 16 minutes. 01:33pm

Are you having a row with the machine again? SH 01:34pm

There're a lot of customers and the queue is super long! 01:36pm

How long is it? Taking you more than 20 minutes? SH 01:37pm

AS LONG AS YOUR FACE! Now can you please SHUT UP? 01:39pm

* * *

No offence, just kidding, benedict I still love you!


	7. Work

7. Work

The pen please SH 11:35am

What pen? 11:36am

What's wrong with your little brain? A pen, for writing. SH 11:37am

So you want a pen from my office? 11:39am

Sometimes I am really interested in how your funny little brain works. Why bother for a pen from your office when there is actually one on the tea table? SH 11:40am

...what time is it? 11:41am

11:41:52, John, can't you just take a look at your phone's clock? I said pen, I've been asking you for that for over 26 times. SH 11:42am

It's 11 in the morning and it's Monday, which means I have to go to work. Going to work means I'm not at home. Don't tell me you don't even notice I'm not at home. 11:45am

Oh, so you need to work? Dull. SH 11:46am

* * *

Borrowed the idea from the original tv episode and elaborate a bit, hope you like it:)


End file.
